What Brings Us Together Can Also Pull Us Apart

The pleasure of the collective

Alexander Vargas Sanabria

Sometimes, it becomes easy to make enjoyment depend on winning, or on beating someone else. Sometimes, we hold on to the idea that simply because we deserve something, we should achieve it. And many other times, we confuse believing we are better with being better than others.

When our emotions start moving in that direction, what brings us together can also pull us apart.

Expectations and Desires

My goals should not become your expectations.

When we turn support into unjustified pressure, we lead others into a place of doubt. Then the process stops being about growth and transformation, and becomes stress and frustration instead.

Let’s support others in pursuing their goals, without turning them into our own expectations.

The Individual and the Collective

Although individual goals exist, we rarely reach them alone.

Someone gave us a pull, shared advice, held the wheel, trained with us, or encouraged us at just the right moment. Even when it seems like we are doing it on our own, those who celebrate our victories and feel them with us are also part of the journey.

We Won. So What?

Ironman Mont-Tremblant began with the idea of taking on a challenge together, and with the hope of reaching the podium. Family and friends help plant that seed: they look at the numbers, follow the process, and begin to believe that it is possible.

In the end, achievement may look like a simple story where everyone does what they are supposed to do. But it is not only that. It is doing what needs to be done and, many times, a little more.

What Would It Be Like to Write from Failure?

Maybe it would be easier, because I can remember more clearly everything we did wrong: the pessimistic messages, both our own and from others; my frustrations; and the moments when my resilience gave in to the difficulty of training.

It is so easy to write about failure that, even when we win, we still go back and review what went wrong, and wonder what might have happened if some other variable had changed.

And yet, whether writing from failure or from victory, I would have written the same thing about my family, my friends, and my community: thank you for believing it was possible.

Let’s prepare together. Let’s share our dreams. Let’s not step over one another along the way. Let’s make winning about more than a place on a leaderboard. Let’s make it about earning a place in our collective memory.

A place worth remembering because of what brings us together, not because of what pulls us apart.